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I am a mother of two beautiful, grown women. I believe sarcasm is the sixth love language and I read like it is my job. I read close to 200 books a year and I love talking about what I read and great authors I find. I usually don't go for the books everyone else is reading. I love authors that are funny, but can be serious when they need to be. Romance is my favorite genre, but fantasy romance is not for me. I love building things and repurposing old furniture and building materials. Sometimes I just need to be creative. I'm also extremely ADHD and neurodivergent, but that just makes me more fun and interesting. As long as you can keep up. I am extremely honest and am not afraid to share my opinion. I try to do it in a nice way though. Constructive criticism is good, being flat out mean when you share your opinion is unnecessary.

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Friday, July 1, 2011

Worth MORE!

We have done a disservice to the girls in our society. Little girls are growing up thinking they have to dress in little to no clothing, wear too much make up, dance inappropriately and have no respect for themselves if they want attention or love. I think it started in the 80's when MTV showed women as objects dancing on the hood of a car and every video was about having or getting sex. I know I fell into it.

While I was never the type of girl to show everything, I did think that if I wanted attention I had to act or dress a not so lady like way. I'm not blaming it all on MTV. Media in general has played a part in what women think they have to do or how they have to look. but society has taught us the same thing. Just go to the mall and watch young girls walk around. Younger and younger girls are showing their bellies or are wearing skirts and shorts that are way too short. Why do they do it? Well obviously they have seen it work or it would not continue. I learned early on how to get attention and it worked very well. From the age of 14 I was rarely without a guy for more than a few months. The problem, though was while that got the guys to begin with it didn't make them stay because when real life happened they were off looking for the next girl with no self respect who was willing to put it all out there.

Just like we have taught our girls that that behavior is what it takes to get a guy, we have taught our guys that that is what they should expect. Girls everywhere are throwing themselves at guys all for that attention they so desperately want and the guys don't even have to try that hard because they know there will always be another girl around the corner if this one doesn't do what they want them to.

Whatever happened to the guys who wooed a girl? Where are the guys that expected nothing more than a hug or at most a quick peck on the mouth at the end of a date? Today girls give it up without even going out. The guy doesn't even have to buy them dinner and he is going to get lucky.

Where are the men who respect women? I think they are few and far between. Today women don't respect themselves so why should a guy respect them? Women think all they are good for is their bodies. I fear for my daughters as they grow up in this kind of world. Sure I can teach them they are worth more and to respect themselves, but unfortunately in a world of social media they are going to have way more outside influences that will get to them as well and when they start dating are the guys they meet going to show them that what I taught them is true or what society has taught them is?

I know I was shaped as a young girl to believe that guys only wanted me for my body. I didn't have what the world sees as a "perfect" body so I did cover it up more than most girls, but none the less I still put it out there and I was rewarded with attention. I found that if I was flirty and dressed sexy that guys would notice me, but looking back now I can see they didn't want me they just wanted my body and what they could get from it. There are girls all over the world starving themselves or making themselves throw up or have surgeries they don't need all for a little attention. There are plenty of reasons why they feel the need to draw attention to themselves. Maybe Daddy didn't show them enough love so they look for it in a man, often times finding a man just like their dad. Maybe some guy broke up with them because they wouldn't go all the way. Maybe some bully in school told them they were ugly or fat or some other ridiculous lie so they are out to prove the world wrong or just maybe they just never really had much confidence in themselves and so they over compensate. Whatever the reason, I just want girls and women too for that matter, to see that they are worth so much more.

It is ok to take pride in the way you look and when you are married it is absolutely fine to have sex, but just know you are more than just that and any guy that does not see that is not the right guy for you. Don't let him make you feel bad for respecting yourself. Don't let him tell you that you are something you are not and don't degrade yourself for any man. If that is what he expects from a woman then there are plenty of other women out there willing to be his play thing. You are worth more and God is more than willing to be the man in your life until He leads you to the right one. Don't compromise just for attention.

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