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I am a mother of two beautiful, grown women. I believe sarcasm is the sixth love language and I read like it is my job. I read close to 200 books a year and I love talking about what I read and great authors I find. I usually don't go for the books everyone else is reading. I love authors that are funny, but can be serious when they need to be. Romance is my favorite genre, but fantasy romance is not for me. I love building things and repurposing old furniture and building materials. Sometimes I just need to be creative. I'm also extremely ADHD and neurodivergent, but that just makes me more fun and interesting. As long as you can keep up. I am extremely honest and am not afraid to share my opinion. I try to do it in a nice way though. Constructive criticism is good, being flat out mean when you share your opinion is unnecessary.

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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The Girl With The Light In Her Eyes

While cleaning out my closet the other day I came across a box of pictures that I had just never gotten around to putting in an album or scrap book. I came across a few pictures of myself from Christmas 1994. Now it is important to know that 1994 was one of the best years of my life. I was 21 years old and I was in love and things were just going well for me. Throw in the fact that it was Christmas, my favorite holiday at the time, and I was one happy girl.

The look on my face in these pictures show how high on life I was. It shows the love, peace, joy and happiness that I was feeling at the time. The thought that struck me as I looked at the pictures was that there was a light in my eyes. There was so much life and innocence there. I had no idea what lay ahead of me, where life would take me or the joy and pain that I would go through over the next 16 years.

A part of me looks at that girl and wants to go back and have a do over, but then I think about the unavoidable painful events that I went through and I don't want to relive those. Then I think about going back and just talking to my 21 year old self and telling her what not to do, but then I think about how I probably would not listen to myself and there is also the whole space time continuum things so if I didn't go through what I have been through I would not learn enough to tell myself not to do what I did. Yeah it is very Back to the Future kinda thing.

The problem with both of those scenarios though is that I can't do either and I am there person I am today because of all of the things that have happened to me in my WHOLE life. I do wonder though, is there something that girl with the light in her eyes could teach me now? I think just by being in those pictures she already did. She reminded me that the girl with the light in her eyes is still in me and I am still that girl just with a lot more wisdom.

I have made it a point over the last few days to let that girl out again and I have to say I have missed her. I don't know why I let her hide for awhile, but it feels really good to have that light in me again. Interestingly enough just in the few days that I have been letting her shine I have gotten some pretty cool compliments which of course makes me feel even better and in turn makes my light shine brighter. If I could go back and talk to that 21 year old girl right now I would say thank you. Thank you for those pictures that reminded me who I was and who I still am.

So what's the challenge from this blog? Find that light in yourself again and don't let it go. If you have lost it think back to a time when you had the light in your eyes and learn from that person. If you still have that light in your eyes, don't let it go, matter of fact let it shine brighter than ever before. I am and I will.

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