I say this to myself for a few things that I have been working on over the years, but I also say this to other people that I talk to on a regular basis. I see people who use their past as an excuse for their current behaviors. "Oh, I did this because..." I'm calling it as I see it people, that's a cop out.
Yes or past shapes us, but are you going to let someone else make you do something you hate, or make you do something you shouldn't? Well, we shouldn't and yet, we do.
It really kind of ticks me off. It is giving power to someone else if we let what they did to us make us be less than our best. Why should they get that kind of power? People in our past made bad choices that affected us, but if we in turn make bad choices because of that then we are affecting someone else and it becomes a vicious cycle of hurt.
I know that for my own girls I don't want my mistakes to make them one day make their own bad choices. Everything we do affects someone, but we have to choose to affect them positively rather than negatively and end the cycle.
It has taken me many years to figure this out so I am hoping by putting this out there I can help someone else avoid the long journey it has taken me. We really all should be learning from other people's mistakes and making better choices. We also should learn from our own mistakes so we don't repeat them. It hurts me to see people hurting due to their own bad choices in life. I want to do what I can to help them avoid them or at least go through the repercussions of their choice and come out on the other side hopefully without having to loose something in the process.
I've taken the spiritual gifts test multiple times and empathy always ranks high on my list. I didn't understand that at first because when I first took it I was young and selfish, but someone explained it to me. He had noticed that even in my young selfishness I still was able to see things from others perspective. That ability to see things from others perspective and in effect care about how they felt has shaped my choices in life.
When I see someone making bad choices or making mistakes I try to see things from their perspective and figure out why they would make that choice. Time and again it comes back to their own personal hurt from the past. Maybe we all need counselling to get through the junk we have been carrying around with us. Imagine how much lighter you would feel if you truly let your junk go. The coolest part of this is we don't have to go through it alone. God is there for us and he also put other people in our lives to help us, but we have to accept that help. Shutting people out and turning our back on people who just want to help us is not the answer. God wants us to ask for help. He is waiting for it, but we have to let go of our own pride and ego and admit that we can't do it alone. We also can't go looking for someone who will back us up in our bad choices. Anyone who supports your bad choice is not looking out for you or your best interest. God did not put them there.
God wants the best for you. Does it stink that we were hurt in the past? You bet it does. Does God want you to wallow in that and hurt others in the process? Uh, NO! And yet everyday, that is exactly what we do. So I say to you now, stop letting your past define you!!! Do the right thing and be the person God wants you to be. You will be better for it and in turn others will be better for it as well.
I'm sorry if Daddy didn't hug you or tell you her loved you or some kid on the playground told you that you were ugly, but that is their issue not yours. "You are beautiful, you are treasured, you are sacred you are His. You were meant for so much more than all of this." (Mercy Me)