I'm here to say to all of those women, you deserve better. I have seen a quote on facebook many times, not sure who it is by, but it rings true not matter what, "Don't make someone a priority in your life, when you are only an option in theirs." If a guy treats you like garbage or is seeing you while he is married, you are not his priority. He is his priority. He is looking to feel better about himself. If he is treating you badly then by you feeling bad it allows you to feel better about yourself. If he is married to someone else then he is trying to feel like he is desired again. I know that in the married situation sometimes the wife has not shown him the attention he thinks he deserves, but it is not your place to give it to him. That is between him and his wife and God.
We live in a time where we are constantly being bombarded with images of the "perfect woman" She has to be thin, have large breasts, straight teeth, perfect eyes, nose and mouth, but if you look around at the real world you will see that women just don't look like that. The women in Hollywood don't even look like that. The pictures are airbrushed or they had surgery or liposuction. A good man isn't looking for perfection from his woman. A good man is looking for a woman who gets him, loves him, respects him and completes him. If he is looking for something superficial like how you look or the type of attention you give him, well then he is not a good man. Sorry to have to say it ladies, but there are a lot of jerks out there.
Now I know that the jerk to good guy ratio is making it harder for women to find good men, but that doesn't mean you have to settle for the first guy to show you some attention or even the second or third guy. Set your standards high. Look for that guy that will treat you well. Look for the guy who will protect you and that wants you and only you. Ask questions about his past relationships. You don't ask because you want to be hurt by his past, but you ask so you know how he treated the women in his past. Chances are if he treated them badly or didn't respect them, then he isn't going to treat you right either. Sure you may get a few years of him treating you right, but then life will happen and he will see you with the flu or hear you throwing up and if he is the kind of guy who gets bored easily then he is going to go find a new girl that hasn't thrown up around him.
I really want women to realize that they can do better if they just stop settling. I am not saying to any woman than you should leave your husband if he is not great. I am saying to all those women out there who are dating jerks to let them go. So what if you have a big nose, swinty eyes and a big butt, you can do better if you will just realize that you are worth more than what he is giving you. Stop settling! Look for the good guys. If you are in a bad relationship then get out. If you are seeing a married man, even if he is leaving his wife, get out. That is no way to start a relationship and you will always be wondering if he gets bored with you if he will look for someone else.
Realize that you are worth more than the sloppy seconds or harsh treatment these guys are giving you. I don't know what your childhood was like so I don't know what made your self esteem what it is. If you have good self esteem then great. Take that and find a man worthy of you. If you have low self esteem then first off stop that, second off look at yourself through God's eyes and see that you were beautifully and wonderfully made. Just because some jerk in your past made you feel unworthy of love doesn't mean you are. Just because your mother had low self esteem doesn't mean you should. Take pride in who God made you and see the beautiful woman you are. Sure it may take longer to find the guy that will treat you right, but in the long run you will be happier and you will save yourself a lot of heartache. I really wish more women would have this philosophy when it comes to finding a man. Maybe if women will only start dating the good guys then the jerks will see that they have to be good in order to have a good woman and in the process of natural selection all the jerks will die out. After all, if there are no jerks to raise jerk sons or daughters with no self esteem then only the good guys will be raising kids and the over population of jerks can go the way of the saber tooth tiger.... Hey a girl can dream can't she.