I have almost that friend. I have the friend that gets me and that I can quote things to, but I have different friends that I can say anything to and they get it. They used to be one in the same, but somewhere along the way the friend that I quote with became the person I couldn't say anything to.
I love having friends that I can be real with. The ones I can show my warped side to or my gross side. I think we all need that. I also love having the friend that I can quote things to. That friend has been there through a lot of stuff in my life and understands when I talk about college night because they were a part of it with me. This friend was there with me through some amazing times in my life and I enjoy remembering those moments with them. I wonder though why did we stop being able to say anything to each other. That friend was my best friend for a lot of years. That friend was the person I called when something great happened and that friend was the shoulder I cried on when something bad happened. I still find myself when something great or funny happens wanting to call them and tell them, but rarely are they the person I call when something bad happens. I rarely call them if I am hurting or sad, that's what the other friends have become for me.
Why do we let our friendships fall away like that? Why do we stop saying what we are thinking? Chances are those friends would not have judged us had we just been real with them. Chances are those friends are thinking the same thing sometimes. They were that friend for a reason you know?
We live in such a transient society these days. By the time my youngest daughter was 4 1/2 she had lived in 4 states. Where we are now is the longest she has ever lived somewhere and in two months it will be the longest my oldest has ever lived somewhere. How do we keep up with our friends when we don't even live near them anymore? How do we keep that bond strong? Facebook helps to a point, but sometimes it is just a distraction from living our real life. I know I have been guilty of sitting home all day long on the computer with no real contact with anyone. Even when other people were in my house I was sitting at the computer. Have we become such a tech mesmerized society that we no longer have the ability to have real interactions with each other?
I don't want my world to be wrapped up in my next status update or reading everyone else's status update. We rationalize that we keep up and talk to more friends because we have facebook. Yeah, I have talked with people I went to college with, high school with and even people I lived across the street from until I was 7. It is great catching up when we first find them, but then really do you talk to them anymore or do you just read and comment on each other's statuses? Do you basically facebook stalk and never really keep up with their real life? I KNOW I am guilty of that. If you think about it though we only put snippets of our lives on facebook, well unless you are an over sharer, and well that is for another blog. So if we only put snippets out there then we really are not doing life with each other, we are just being nosy.
I have had a few friends message me occasionally if my posts seem sad or dark, but overall we are not interacting. Social networking seems to be a must these days. You have to twitter, or facebook or blog to keep in touch with the world and as great as it can seem at times I really think it is making us more and more anti-social. We don't get together for coffee to hang out anymore. No, we chat on facebook or we text. We don't laugh out loud with our friends anymore. No, we LOL or LMBO. No wonder there are marriages breaking up because of social networking. We are so used to speaking in status updates and chats and texts that we don't know how to have face time anymore.
The reason I can no longer say anything to my friend is because we quit saying anything out loud. Our conversations started consisting of texts and emails. Heck we couldn't even pick up the phone to talk. Sure I can send a funny quote through a text, but where is the satisfaction of seeing them literally laugh out loud? I want to say "PIVOT!" and actually see a smile and well "Narkey" just doesn't come across in written word. Chances are anyone reading this has no idea what either of those quotes mean, but my friend does and that is one of the reasons we are friends. Will we ever be able to say anything to each other again? Well I hope so. No matter what this person is my friend, but I also need to take the time to actually use my voice not just for this one friend, but for all of those that I know I can say anything to.
So my challenge this time is to stop living in a cyber world so much and take the time to use your voice. We really do have something to say and no I am not missing the irony that I am saying this all online, but hey baby steps right?
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