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I'm a mother of two beautiful girls. I think Sarcasm is a spiritual gift, even Jesus was sarcastic. I have no patience for people who are not real. I'm a Christian, but I hate how so many Christians have made that a bad word. My goal is to be a strong woman who loves God and encourages other women to do the same. I love upcycling and building things from repurposed items and reclaimed wood. We as women don't always see ourselves for the amazing women we are. It took me a lot of pain and hard work to find out who I am and what I am passionate about. I want other women to find their passions and not let others hold them back. Maybe some of my posts and projects that I will post will encourage other women to be who God wants them to be.

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Saturday, February 26, 2011

Why settle for less?

I talk all the time about how women need to be strong and that they should not let people treat them bad. I really hope that my message is getting out there especially to those women who think they don't deserve better due to low self esteem. But I also want my message to get to me. Due to some crazy things that have happened in my life, I will admit my self esteem has never been very great, but the thing is I know that I am an amazing woman so why do I let stupid people make me feel like I am not just because they are too selfish to see it?

I know another girl who has low self esteem and I see her making the same mistakes I made and it kills me. I would love the chance to talk to her and let her know she deserves better, but I think some women just need to learn things on their own. All I can do is sit back and wait for it to happen and then hope that she finally sees that we as women are amazing, but only if we make ourselves amazing. Settling for less just because we think that is all we are worth is sad.
I have had people in my life since I was a child making me feel less than I am. Some did it to make themselves feel better. Some did it out of pure selfishness and some did it just because they are sick.

No matter why people hurt us we can't keep giving them the power to hurt us more. I have seen women return to abusive husbands because they think they can't do better or because their husbands swore they would change. The thing about abusers though, they don't change. I'm not just talking about physical abuse either. I have a few friends who have or had emotionally abusive husbands. Their husbands controlled them with fear and mind games. Every time the woman would start to feel strong in who they were the husbands were there to knock them back down or lie to them so that the women would give them another chance.

It is men like that that have me worried for the future of my daughters. I don't want them ending up with some jerk who treats them bad or makes them feel less than amazing, but how do I train them up to know they deserve better? I have seen parents who never really lifted up their kids or told them they loved them and just basically let the children raise themselves and learn from life. I have also seen the flip side of the coin though. I have seen parents go over board and tell their child how wonderful and great they are non-stop to the point where the child had an over inflated sense of self and those children grew up to be selfish people.

So where is that happy medium? How do we raise strong women who have a good sense of self, but are not selfish? I don't want my girls growing up thinking that it is ok to be with someone who is a jerk. I can't always be with them to protect them from outside influences so I have to trust that God will protect them. I know they are going to see and experience things in life that could have a profound impact on what they think is ok. I just have to do my best to counteract that influence so that they know they are beautiful, strong girls.

God will be there for my girls as they grow up, but it is up to us as parents to be the godly role models they need to see so that they can be godly women. God doesn't want them settling for the not even next best thing. God wants to give them His best. I will teach my girls what to expect out of their future husbands and how to be good wives, but ultimately they are going to take from everything they see and hear and make their own choices. I can only hope that what they see and hear is what is best for them in God's eyes and not our own.
So my take away challenge this time? Don't settle for less than God's best for your life. Be the strong, beautiful women God created you to be and get away from the people in your life that are not God's best for you.

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