What you need to know

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I am a mother of two beautiful, grown women. I believe sarcasm is the sixth love language and I read like it is my job. I read close to 200 books a year and I love talking about what I read and great authors I find. I usually don't go for the books everyone else is reading. I love authors that are funny, but can be serious when they need to be. Romance is my favorite genre, but fantasy romance is not for me. I love building things and repurposing old furniture and building materials. Sometimes I just need to be creative. I'm also extremely ADHD and neurodivergent, but that just makes me more fun and interesting. As long as you can keep up. I am extremely honest and am not afraid to share my opinion. I try to do it in a nice way though. Constructive criticism is good, being flat out mean when you share your opinion is unnecessary.

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Saturday, September 10, 2011

what's your dream?

As I watch TV or the people around me I find myself a little jealous at times. It is not something I am proud of, as a matter of fact I am rather ashamed to admit it, but it is true. What am I jealous of? I am jealous when I see people who love what they do. I was watching LA Ink. I love all the tattoo shows. I see these people who get to be themselves and love what they do. Sure there is drama, but they are getting to create art and they get to let their freak flag fly and no one is going to tell them they can't let their tats show. I realize that not every job is the kind that allows you to look however you want, but at the same time it is more about being happy with what you are doing and feeling comfortable in your own skin.

Right now, I don't like my job. It is not my dream and I feel like I have to be someone else while I am there. This is not the kind of place I see myself working for the rest of my life. I want that kind of job though. I want the kind of job where I am happy to get up every day and go to work. I want the kind of job where I can be myself. I am not afraid of hard work. I am not afraid to get dirty or even to do things sometimes that I don't like, but I want to like going into work. I don't want to watch the clock and be jealous of all the other people in the world who love their job.

Now you may be asking so what do I want to do. Funny thing is, I only have a slight idea of what I want to do. I know I love to be creative. I know I love to build things and paint things. I know I like to write and speak. I know I like to be around people like me, but do I know what I want to be when I grow up? No I really don't, but I'm not going to settle and I am not going to give up until I get there. I will do what I have to do right now at a job I hate in order to make a paycheck, but in the mean time I am working on my master plan. I am writing and I am looking for things to speak at. In my free time I do help build and paint sets for theatre productions. Every time I do something that I do love doing I learn a little something more and one day I will have that job that I am happy to get up and go to everyday. I have a few ideas floating around in my head and hopefully they will lead to something in the future. Fear used to hold me back from following my dreams, but this last year has shown me that I do have talent and I do have something to say. I just have to do it.

The take away challenge this time? Do you love what you do? If you don't what are you doing to make that happen? Make a plan and stick to it. You may have to do something you hate right now, but everyday take steps to make it happen even if it is a small step. There may not be more than five people who read what I have to say in this blog, but every time I write I am taking a step closer to my dream of writing for women. Every time I talk to a friend going through some kind of junk and I encourage her I am taking a step closer to speaking to women's groups and every time I volunteer and help build sets I am taking a step closer to learning to build and paint. I think I see how this will all come together in the future, but it is not my timing it is God's. He will open the door when it is time and not a minute sooner and when He does I will smile every morning when I get out of bed just like I dream of. Until then I will do my best to smile and work hard at the job I don't like because sometimes we have to do things we hate in order to do things we love.

Make it happen!

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